Having a kid means reading to them. Reading to them means kids books. Kids books usually include fairy tales at some point (with lots of crying, biting fussing and hitting ... for an example see any reality show).

I am at that point (kids not crying), and have my jaw to the ground after reading some of them. Let's look at few more closely as adults now shall we?

- The Ugly Duckling: Everyone shuns her because she is ugly as a kid but then grows up to be beautiful and now is paid attention to. So the message is that if you are not good looking at any point in your life then buy lots of kleenex - as you'll need it - or make friends with a good plastic surgeon. Then you will be ok in life.

- Rudolph: He was different and not accepted for it. He went through a difficult time. When his different-ness actually helped the group out, then they all loved him. So if you are different, prepare to suffer. If your different-ness never results in a gain for anyone then you will suffer. Even if it does at some point you will suffer most of the time. Either way you will suffer so try to be the same as everyone else.

- Little Red Riding Hood: So here you have a warning to all girls not to become a 'sl*t' or be sexual, or feel your sexuality, or even realize sex exists because if you do then a wolf will probably eat you (after swallowing your grandmother first) but then you can be saved if a hunter (prince charming = man to save you) or a strong man cuts open the wolf and pulls you both out from his bloody guts.

Then, after reading this, you kiss your child on the forehead, turn off the light, smile warmly and say, "good night" and leave them alone. Guaranteed to give your child a great night's sleep every time.

And we wonder why kids are reading less these days....

- RR